hi. i’m nickie.
Elysian exists because of my story – a story that includes formal experience and expertise, but also personally walking through the social care system, and the perseverance required to become the parent my child needed.
The moment someone took the time to really see my child, and to really hear me and walk with me through the challenges, I knew I was going to be okay. That moment set me on a path to walk with others through hard things, too.
When I was in college, I had my first experience in the social work sector, working in a group home for Deaf adults. There, I learned sign language to support the members of the group home, and worked with Deaf staff. This experience was formative for me, because I got to be a part of a people-centered approach – instead of seeing each person as a clinical case, each person was a part of the home and received individual support.
Year’s later, I was a mother, and noticed that my youngest child was showing signs of developmental delay, which started me on my own journey of seeking out support for him. I had continued working in group homes, and was familiar with the system, but I had never been on the receiving end before.
It wasn’t long before I experienced the hardest parts of going through the system – including professionals who were quick to blame me for my child’s neurodiversity, and who failed to offer any practical help. One of the professionals I was referred to particularly stands out in my memory.
When she met me, she kept referring to me as ‘mom,’ and wouldn’t call me by my name. She would make these insulting, cutting comments. In her report, she laid most of the blame on my feet, saying that I was a mother who didn’t understand, not having ever discussed anything with me, nor even knowing that I worked in the field of disabilities.”
Looking back on it now, I know that this experience – though very painful – was incredibly significant. I had actually experienced what it was like to be in the system, and have nobody really see you or care, or offer any tangible help. I knew I wanted to do the best I could for my child, and was committed to getting the support we needed. My next experience was the complete opposite of my first. The evaluator sat me down and called me by name. When she gave me the results of the evaluation, she said shared it with honesty and as an equal.
The way that she handled me was with respect and compassion. And I knew that she was for me, not just viewing my child as a job. As I continued through the process of evaluations and wading through diagnoses, the people that really helped me and my child highlighted what I hoped to be for others.
These people all offered help and hope. They treated me fairly, and I could also trust that they cared about my child.
Once again, I was experiencing a people-centered methodology – but this time, it mattered even more, because it was centered around my own son. There wasn’t blame for what was happening, but simply acknowledging the challenges and looking for solutions. Despite being solutions-oriented, the people I worked with made sure that the interventions weren’t overwhelming. It was through this process that I was able to understand – through the perspective of a mother, not just a professional – the significance of considering what is best for the whole family.
I love being able to individualize interventions for the child and for the family, and do something that works and brings the family together as a unit. It informed all of what I did as a childhood development specialist – and continues to inform my work today.
Over the years, I have worked as a case-worker, partnering with parents and children through the social work system, been an educator for neurodiverse children, trained teachers to help neurodiverse children get the most out of school, worked directly with children and their parents in therapy, owned a business that specialized in childhood development, and been an advisor and mentor for BCBAs in training, both in the States and internationally.
When COVID-19 hit, I had just finished my Masters and was working with children in therapy. Suddenly, in-person therapy was no longer possible. So, I shifted back to my roots, which was family centered practices. I was meeting with parents via Zoom, providing them with the tools to be able to live in really not great situations – to work as a family and help their child to be their best selves. And I realized that’s actually what I love –helping people be equipped to do what they need to do.
Elysian behavior coaching is a direct result of my story– someone met me right where I was at, and now, I hope to do the same for you.
As we meet together – starting right where you are – I will focus on working with you to develop options that work for who you are, moving you towards your goals, and in line with your values.